Reproductive gossip and being enough

This August, I’ll be married to my Yankee husband for 7 years. I’m 30 years old, he’ll be 34 in September. I was married at 23 years old, young by today’s norms.

There’s something about being married for 7 years + turning 30 in April that seem to have people talking. Talking about us. When we aren’t around. Talking about when we are going to have kids.

I had a feeling that this was happening (the talking) and recently it has been confirmed. I’ve had a friend tell me that several people have made comments to her re: when we’ll have kids. And earlier this summer, an old acquittance asked me the bomb of a question in a large group setting (after asking how old I am and how long we have been married). The “so when are you going to have a baby?” question came flying out before they had asked me about my job, how my husband was doing, etc.

Sigh. I don’t know which one I’d prefer. Either people talking about our reproductive plans behind our backs or being asked the “when are you going to have kids?” question in a public setting. Can I pick neither?

I’m 30 years old. I’ve been married for 7 years. I love my husband dearly. He’s the best gift I’ve ever received. He’s enough. I’m enough. We are enough whether or not we have children (biologically or via adoption). The talking about us having a baby + asking when we will have one makes me feel as if others view me as not enough, that we as a couple aren’t enough. But we are. We really are.

4 thoughts on “Reproductive gossip and being enough”

  1. I’m not alone! Although, you are an open book. I can be depending on the person and situation (1:1 being my preference!). Congrats on 8 years in August!! 🙂

  2. I am so sorry these questions and comments have left you feeling like you and your husband are not enough. I can see how that would happen, and while I bet many of the inquiries aren’t meant to offend, it’s unfortunate that we are a culture so often focused on the “next expected milestone” that we often miss just connecting and getting to know a person for who they are and not for the “holes” they have left to fill.

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