How we told family that we are expecting

This past weekend, we told family that we are expecting! Because we have been married for 7 years, our news surprised almost everyone. We waited until the long weekend (Canadian Thanksgiving) so that we could tell family in-person. I was 14 weeks when our secret was officially out.

Telling hubby’s family:

We drove down to Western New York (he’s American) on Friday. A family brunch (with immediate and extended family) was planned for Saturday at 11am. Shortly after realizing we were pregnant, we messaged family members and asked if we could gather everyone together that weekend. It worked out well as Derek’s aunt was in town (she’s only in the area 1x per year), so it was a way for us to see her and family in our whirl-wind of a road-trip (4+ hr drive each way and stayed for less than 24 hrs).

Friday October 10th:

In the evening, we were hanging out with Derek’s parents and Derek asked his dad if he could send out a cheque for his American credit card. Then he said to his mom, “oh, this is for you” and handed her a piece of paper. She opened the piece of paper, screamed, and threw it! It was a photo copy of our ultrasound pic. Derek had just taken a gulp of water and was trying not to spit it out as he was laughing at her reaction. They hugged for a bit and then she hugged me and Derek’s dad hugged us. They both weren’t expecting an announcement that weekend and were very happy.

The next morning:

We went to see Derek’s grandmother who wasn’t going to be at the brunch. Shortly after we sat down, she asked us if we saw all of her photos on display of her great-grandchildren. This was our open door! We told her that she’ll have to make room for one more photo in April. She paused and then had a huge smile. We totally shocked her as she thought that we weren’t having kids. Then when we got back to his parents house, we called Derek’s older brother to tell them as they weren’t going to be at the brunch. Even over the phone, his reaction was great. I got to speak with our oldest niece who asked me back in August when we were going to have a baby. She was mostly silent on the phone but at the very end said, “congratulations!”.

10:30am – we arrive for brunch at Derek’s grandmother and aunts house. We are there early to make pancakes (I had already made and brought an egg bake). Derek made the pancakes and people were impressed (he’s totally competent!). We had asked ahead of time for Derek’s dad (who is ALWAYS asked to pray) to pray for the new grandchild at the end of his prayer. After praying for the food and other family members, he added, “please be with the new family member arriving in April, thank you for this grandchild and please be with Derek and Rachel, Amen.” No sooner did he say “Amen” and Derek’s aunt yelled, “WHAT?!?!?!?!”. Derek’s grandmother’s face was hilarious. She looked so stern for about 30 seconds before she figured it out and it sunk in. Then she was so excited! Derek’s sister arrived a bit late to brunch, shortly after her arrival, someone wanted to take a picture of us with Derek’s sister. Someone said, “a photo of the 3 of you”, another person (by mistake) said “the 4 of you”, and we rolled with that. We said, “ya, there are actually 4 of us!” His sister wasn’t getting it. Someone said, “well, 3 and a half”. She was still confused. Then Derek said, “well, 3 and 14 weeks”. It sunk in! Her reaction was great.

Telling my family (Sunday October 12th):

Before leaving our town (we came home Saturday night), we stopped by Metro and picked up a cake. We told my family that we’d bring the cake this year for Dad’s birthday. We had written on the cake, “Congratulations Grandpa and Grandma”. We left the cake in the car with the windows cracked (it was cool out) so that no one would see the cake beforehand. Sunday evening, Derek and I walked into the dining room with the cake in its box and arrived at the end of everyone singing happy birthday. Two of my sisters asked why there wasn’t candles on the cake. I told them that after dad sees the cake we can put candles on. We had my dad open the lid (and asked my mom to stand next to him) and he laughed at first and then looked confused. My youngest sister asked if we were serious and then she hugged me and bawled. When we were done hugging I could see that another sister was crying and it had finally sunk in for my parents. I asked if my dad was upset that he didn’t get a real birthday cake, and before leaving the next day he said that he’ll never forget that birthday cake! I called my maternal grandma the next day (Monday October 13th) and told her and we told my paternal grandpa in-person Monday night.

It was a great weekend of telling family, we got to tell most everyone in-person. Even though I was 14 weeks, I was still a bit nervous to tell people as a loss can happen at any time (even though the risk goes down once you hit the 2nd trimester). But I’m glad that the news is out. Now I no longer need to hide how I’m feeling and we have a lot of support. It was a weekend to remember and this blog post is an attempt to not forget the details, the excitement and joy.

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