To Doula or Not to Doula?

We have an appointment with a Doula today. I’m feeling a bit nervous for our first meeting. We haven’t committed to having one yet. I’ve heard many positive reviews re: using a doula so I figured we should at least check it out. I was more convinced that I’d want one when I didn’t get in with the midwives clinic. Now that we have a midwife, I’m wondering if it’s worth it to also have a doula. The price is “what you think it’s worth” kinda scale. I’ve heard that midwives and doula’s roles are different during labour. Our midwife sees no problem with us using a Doula as well.

If you’ve met with a doula before, used a doula, or are a doula, I’d love your help with the following:

1) What questions should we ask our doula at our first meeting today?

2) What was your reason(s) for either going with a doula or in the end, not using one?

3) Would you recommend us having a doula for labour/delivery? Why or why not?

Thanks!

3 thoughts on “To Doula or Not to Doula?”

  1. Oh I have a Doula (but no midwife) and am really glad I got her. I’ll answer your questions 🙂

    1) What questions should we ask our doula at our first meeting today?
    – I asked how long she’s been a Doula/How many twin births shes been a part of (I’m having twins)
    – Why she got into it
    – What’s her views on medical interventions i.e. epidurals, morphine, etc.
    – What her support services entailed? Some will give you a meeting or two before including regular correspondence via emails or texts, and then a visit after baby is born. Some Doula’s are labour focused, some are post partum, etc.
    – Does she do breast feeding support (if that’s important to you).
    – How does she support the partners during the process? I wanted someone that was more gentle as my hubby isn’t overly vocal so he needed a Doula that will gently nudge him when needed

    2) What was your reason(s) for either going with a doula or in the end, not using one?
    – we don’t have family in our province. And my mother is actually on the other side of the country so I wanted support, and unbiased support really.
    – I wanted to feel confident that DH would take the reins and speak up when I won’t be able to and a Doula will be able to guide him through that.
    – I want breast feeding support and like that I’ll already have a relationship with this person. Of course there are other resources and your midwife will be able to assist as well but for me, I liked that I’ll have someone that’s easily accessible.
    – She’s been able to answer a lot of miscellaneous questions that I’ve had come up. And she’s also helped me feel like I can have more control over the situation (since I’m having twins one of my doc’s has been very pro c-section and that’s just not what I want, if at all possible. Obviously if it’s medically necessary, sign me up! but I don’t want to be guilted into it).

    3) Would you recommend us having a doula for labour/delivery? Why or why not?
    – well we’ve hired a Doula (obviously) but I think you need to feel like the Doula gets you and your partner first and foremost. This is a really special time and you’re inviting a new person into this moment, to be a part of your experience. They need to be aligned with your wants and needs, your value system. If you don’t want to do say placenta encapsulation, then make sure your Doula won’t make you feel bad for not doing it. I think there can be a lot of guilt throughout the process of being pregnant and the choices we make. Having a Doula that supports your choices unconditionally but is also able to help you make informed decisions is key.
    Good luck!

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