Building my village


Now more than ever, I believe this statement to be true. Being a new mom is HARD. I’m 7 months into this parenting gig and I thought that I’d have my village by now. The reality that I’ve come to accept is this: it takes a lot of work to find your village that helps you raise your child. At least I’ve found this to be the case in small town/rural Canada. Our culture is bent against community. Canadians tend to live next to neighbours that they never talk to. There’s a saying that the invention of the garage door killed community. Also, these days, more and more mother’s work outside of the home. And while I’m 100% for women in the workforce, I’ve found it hard that the few mom friends that I do have in this area work during the day. I find that I struggle with motherhood the most when others are at work and I’m home alone with baby. Lastly, we also don’t have grandparents in this area. Part of the modern day challenge re: “the village” is that families rarely live in the same community anymore.

I’ve come to the realization that to find my village, I’ll have to go against culture. I’m going to have to put myself out there. And hardest of all, I must reach out to others and let them know that I could use the support or help. Asking and receiving from others goes against my very nature. But it doesn’t take an island to raise a child…it takes a village.

Here goes. I’ve got a few things that I want to try re: building my village. I’ll come back and let you know how it went. I’d love to hear from you if this has been a struggle and what’s been helpful (or not) as you go against culture and find your village.


9 thoughts on “Building my village”

  1. Love u Rach!
    Look forward to hearing how you build your village. Baby groups or YMCA programs are a great place to make new friends and help build thar village!
    Wish we lived closer

  2. Thanks! Wish we did too.
    I wish so badly that there was a YMCA or a pool in our town. There’s nothing like that here 😦
    But there is a baby group that I plan to try again 🙂

  3. And never forget……………there are always “pseudo grandparents” 😉 Some of us would love to help out…even if it’s just for a visit!!

  4. I’m on the other side, I don’t have kids but I have friends who have kids and babies. But I never know how to help or what to do or if asking them to hang out would be too hard for them and I wouldn’t want to invite myself over because they already have enough going on but inviting them over to my place seems like it would be a lot of trouble for them. So I definitely encourage the reaching out to others and asking for help as long as it doesn’t make people feel obligated to help you (definitely make sure you give people an out).

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