reflections from leaving facebook – SPINK OUTSIDE THE BOX

This month marks 1 year since I left facebook. For one who joined shortly after the site began and encouraged numerous friends and family to sign up, this is kinda a big deal. For over a decade with facebook, I’ve taken a hiatus here and there. The longest may have been 40 days for lent. *Disclaimer* I still have a facebook page for the blog and I have the same for instagram and twitter. What I no longer have is a personal facebook page, and I believe that makes a big difference. Here’s what I’ve observed with having gone a year off facebook:

I don’t miss as many important updates as I worried that I might. When it’s really important, someone still tells me about it.
I have experienced a decrease in anxiety from being away from the site. Sometimes my husband will share a rude comment that a family member or friend made on someone’s post and I think, THANK GOD. Thank God that I no longer sign in to facebook and see this sort of thing. (In this regard, Instagram has been a breath of fresh air.)
While still a little too comfortable with checking my phone (anyone else have phone checking OCD?), I believe that I’ve spent less time online over the past year than I would have if I had a personal facebook page. Now a days, I find when I check instagram, I leave it in a short amount of time. There’s no way that I spend an hour at a time on instagram (something I did with a personal facebook page).

I want to be clear here, I’m still someone who has room for improvement in regards to use of social media. But the difference after a year of being off of facebook is this: for the first time, I believe that I’m using social media as a tool rather than it having a ball and chain around me. I can use it without it using me up (my time and emotional well-being). I think most importantly, it’s the fact that it has taught me that you can set boundaries, you can leave….you actually can.

Do I think I’ll return to facebook? Never say never but at this point in time, I can’t see it. I have tasted freedom and it’s good, it’s so very good.

For nearly 3 months now, I’ve been off facebook. I went the route of deleting my facebook account (it’s too easy for me to sign back in again otherwise). I’ve given up facebook for lent before but this time was different. This time, I didn’t have an end date for the facebook fast. This time around, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be back.

Here’s what I learned while away:

1. I hate to admit it, but I was living my life with, “I should share this on fb” playing in the background. When I was no longer on fb I realized how habitual this thinking had become. Spending time away helped me to learn to be OK with having funny or sweet or frustrating moments that aren’t shared on fb. Just because no one else hears about it doesn’t make the experience less significant.

2. I noticed my anxiety decrease within one week of being off fb. Social media is so comfortable for someone with anxiety and yet it’s also rather anxiety producing! It’s Catch 22.

3. I was touched by the number of people who went out of their way to tell me that they missed me on fb. Over the years, I’ve tried to make my time and presence on fb as useful to others as possible. The “miss you on fb” message was affirming.

4. I spent less time online when fb was deleted. Sure I still read blogs and the like, but the amount of time online decreased. I think this was due to the fact that scrolling through fb is less intentional re: time spent than say reading a blog or two. There comes a time when the blog ends. The fb home page never ends!

5. I did end up feeling slightly lonely and disconnected when no longer keeping up with people on facebook. This caused me to reach out to others more via text, phone calls, lunch dates, etc.

While I learned that I can live without fb, I’m going back (at least for a trial run). I miss the ease of getting in touch people and mostly, I miss interacting with people following my blog via facebook. But if it ever gets to the point where being on fb is no longer serving me well, I will leave. Experience has shown me that I can live just fine without it.

Have you left facebook before? Was it helpful? What was your take away from the experience?